


Heather~ Iwaoi

by Nickoliz_B1



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Additional Warnings In Author's Note, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Depressed Oikawa Tooru, Depression, Established Hanamaki Takahiro/Matsukawa Issei, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru Angst, M/M, Mentioned Hanamaki Takahiro, Mentioned Matsukawa Issei, Oblivious Iwaizumi Hajime, Pining Oikawa Tooru, Suicidal Thoughts, Suicide Attempt, Temporarily Unrequited Love, Unrequited Love, iwaoi - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:14:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,011
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24996712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nickoliz_B1/pseuds/Nickoliz_B1
Summary: Iwaizumi finally got a girlfriend.Everyone is happy for him.Even Oikawa.He just wishes he were her.
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Iwaizumi Hajime/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 259





	Heather~ Iwaoi

**Author's Note:**

> Warning!- Suicide attempt and a cutting is implied so if you are not comfortable with that please don't read.

Do you remember that day? We walked home from the shop with my milk bread after practice. It was dark and I was complaining about being cold. To shut me up you gave me your jacket. It was a bit big on me because of how small my shoulders are compared to yours. We walked home as I joked about who knows what. But then she walked by. Mai-Chan. 

We stopped to talk to her for a bit. She was a sweet girl. She was heading out to visit her grandpa in the hospital. You looked at her like she hung the stars. I can understand why. She’s beautiful. Her long black hair. Her vibrant green eyes. Her full lips. Everything about her was perfect. At least, you thought so. 

The next time we saw her was right after practice. She came to meet you. Apparently you invited her out. She wore the cutest little outfit but didn’t bring a jacket. Of course, that was on purpose. You gave her your jacket, the same one you gave me that day. Then you didn’t even walk me home. You walked with her while I watched from afar. 

You held her hand as you walked to the shop. The same shop you always take me to. You both got milk bread just like we would. I went into the shop by myself and got myself some milk bread. When I walked out I saw you two together. You were saying goodbye and she kissed your cheek. I could see the blush on your cheeks and ears as you said something to her. She smiled and waved as she left. I could see the smile on your face as you watched her leave. It was like you forgot about me. I understand though. She’s perfect for you. I just wish I could be in her place. 

The next time I see you, you are with her again. You are eating lunch with her now, leaving me all alone. You don’t talk to me as much at practice and when you do, it’s about her. It’s like she’s the only thing in your life now. Even Makki and Mattsun know. They know everything. I’ll never get to tell you though. You have her to talk to now. You don’t need me. I watch from the stairs as you both laugh and share food. I wish it was me. 

I see you with her every day. For weeks you are with her. Only a few days later you tell us you are dating. I see you taking her on dates. You walk her home. She comes to our games. She waits for you after practice. You walk to school together. You even go to class together. All things we used to do. I don’t care that you thought of it platonically, I didn’t. You were my whole world and you still are. It made me feel like the luckiest guy in the world when you would take me places or hang out with me. I just wish we could do that again. 

Tonight was different. I didn’t see you at all today. I don’t know what happened and I don’t care. I have everything planned out. A perfect little dinner with my family. Visiting my friends and just hanging out. Doing all the stuff I’ve ever wanted to do. Just not with you. Now that it’s over, things are different. I can put down the smile I’ve kept up for weeks. I can let the tears fall like they do every night. I can let myself wallow in my self pity. I don’t care tonight. Tonight it doesn’t matter. I can take out my razer and easily move it along my arms. I can watch the blood flow from my skin and fall onto the floor. I don’t even have to clean it up. Because tomorrow doesn’t matter anymore. It will never matter anymore. 

I’ve planned it for weeks. Iwa-Chan knew about the cutting. It was before this happened. It started probably around the time I met Tobio. When I worked myself to the point where I couldn’t move. To the point I hurt my knee. To the point I completely forgot about school. It was just volleyball. And to me, I was a failure. I wasn’t good enough. Someone was always better. So I did that to myself to feel better. I did it to get rid of my anger towards myself. It got to the point where I fainted in class once. Iwa-Chan would stop me. He would help me through that. But he’s not here now. He’s not coming to help me today. He’s not going to stop me today. 

Today is the day. I open my window and jump out. I pray Iwa-Chan doesn’t hear. He lives nearby and he knows when I sneak out. He shouldn’t care now though. I brought my phone and the rope. I’m not stupid. I won’t sneak into the school to do this. That’s cliche. I’m anything but that. As I walk down the street I text all my friends and family, leaving Iwa-Chan for last. I say goodbye to most and write a few a short paragraph. When I get to Iwa-Chan though, I’m confused on what to do. So I just write what’s on my mind. 

Trash <3  
Hey Iwa-Chan. We haven’t talked in a while. I wanted to say thank you. You have been the best friend anyone could have asked for. You’ve been with me through so much. I never really told you but I am happy for you. I’m happy you are living your life. I’m happy that you are happy. I understand you don’t mean to ignore me but I wish you would’ve talked to me before I had to do this. I just want you to know that I love you and I’m sorry. 

I don’t wait for an answer. I send the message and turn off my phone. I know Makki and Mattsun responded but I don’t look at their texts. I just keep walking and make my way to Aokigahara forest. I had heard many stories about this forest. One youtuber even went here. I make my way into the forest and cross the warning sign. This is for the best, I tell myself. When I finally find a good tree I sit down in front of it. I take out my rope and try my best to make a noose. It’s harder than it seems. So I sit there and try to make it quickly. 

I finally finish it and get up to climb the tree. I climb to one of the highest branches and sit on it as I tie the rope around it. When I finish I put the noose around my neck. I breathe in slowly and breathe out. I hang my feet off the branch and slowly move towards the edge. I smile as I look below me. “Thank you.” I whisper to myself. Just as I move myself off the branch, I hear a scream. “NO!” 

3 weeks. It’s been 3 weeks. I should’ve paid attention to him. I should’ve talked to him. I should’ve told him. But I was too scared. I was a coward and now here I am, sitting in the hospital for the third week in a row. I got him down from that tree but he had already snapped his neck. He didn’t die. Thank god. He’s still alive but barely. I’ve been waiting for him to wake up for 3 weeks. There are so many things I want to tell him right now. But I can’t. So I wrote them down for him. 

Iwa-Channn<3  
Hey Oikawa, it’s been a while. You won’t see these texts until you wake up but I needed to tell you. I’ll start with one of the first things. I broke up with Mai. We dated for a few weeks but I didn’t tell you when we broke up. We broke up a week before you did that. I had been taking some time off to get over it when I got that text from you. I knew what it was right away. You don’t say that stuff often so I knew that’s what it was. When I found you, I thought you were dead. I cried in the ambulance on the way there. I thought I lost you. It’s a good thing you are a fighter. The second time I cried was when I was told you were in a coma. They don’t think it will last long but it feels long no matter how short it is. I can’t wait for when you wake up. I can finally respond to your text. Going back to Mai, I broke up with her. Something felt off when I dated her. She wanted me to only pay attention and spend time with her. And I did that. I did what she wanted. But it felt off without you. Now I know why. I promise I’ll tell you when you wake up. I just don’t want to say it over text. 

I go home that night and pray for a call or a text. I pray for one every night but I hope it’s different. I hope 3 weeks doesn’t become 4. I hope Oikawa is able to play volleyball again. I hope I can help him through this like I used to. I hope he’ll be alright. I hope we’ll be alright. Then my phone buzzes. 

Trash <3  
Come over.

I don’t question the text and get up right away. I get a call from his doctor telling me he’s awake and I can visit him tonight so I leave my house quickly. I don’t even bother changing out of pajamas. I just run as fast as I can. I run as far as my legs will take me and until my breath gives up. When I finally see the hospital I rejoice. I run in and go straight up the stairs. The receptionist knows me by now. She’s seen me every day for the past 3 weeks so it’s normal for her now. I run up the stairs and search for room 223. I run down the halls not caring who yells at me. When I finally find Oikawa’s room I push the door open with all my force and there he is. 

Oikawa is sitting up straight. He has a cast around his neck and he’s a bit pale but his natural beauty is still there. His hair is a mess but I could care less. He doesn’t even have makeup on but he’s still the most beautiful person on the planet. My knees go weak and I feel myself falling. I sit down on the chair next to Oikawa’s bed and rest my head on his bed. “Hey.” Oikawa says softly. “Hey.” We sit silently for a bit before I speak up, “I’m sorry.” Oikawa smiles softly and grabs my hand, “Don’t feel sorry. I did this to myself. You were just living your life.” “But I wasn’t!” I say shooting up. I grip his hand tighter and sigh, “I wasn’t. I was hiding from what I really wanted. I was pushing my happiness away for what I thought other people wanted. So I’m sorry.” I tell him. Oikawa squeezes my hand and smiles. “I forgive you.” I smile and look down. I know what I still need to tell him.

“Iwa-Chan?” Oikawa calls before I say anything. I look up and his smile has faded. “What did you want to tell me?” he asks. I sigh and prepare myself. I have never said it aloud and I wasn’t sure it was right for me to but I needed to. “Oikawa… I love you.” I tell him. I watch his eyes go from soft to shining. It’s like his whole world has been lit up or like the aliens finally came for him. “I love you too, Iwa-chan.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed!


End file.
